Breastfeeding Still and TMI

Desi-boo is now over 16 months old and we are still breastfeeding. He nurses several times during the day still and during the night we are still co-sleeping and nursing. I will put him to bed in his crib (sometimes asleep and sometimes awake still) and then around 3 or 4 he normally wakes up crying and I bring him into my bed nurse him back to sleep and then he stays in my bed til he wakes up, normally around 10 or 11. (Just depending on when he goes to bed, he typically sleeps 12 hours a night) For awhile he was sleeping through the night from bedtime til about 8 or 9, then he started getting in 4 teeth. At the same time. Two of those have finally popped through, but there are still two of them lingering just below the surface. I'm hoping that he will start sleeping all night again after they pop through. My pediatrician told me that I can give him medicine every night to help with the pain of teething, but I don't feel comfortable drugging up my baby every single night just to stop him from waking up in the middle of the night.
For me, one of the best things about breastfeeding has been no periods. I know for a lot of people this isn't always the case, some people get them back about 6 weeks postpartum, but for me it has been 16 glorious months,16 months + the 9 months of pregnancy. My last period started December 25th, 2011. Well, last one until yesterday. :( It has been nice having over 2 years with no period, I have been much happier, I am nicer, and well, it is just great not have to do deal with those things. I think it's pretty good timing though. One of our new friends recently asked me if we are some of those weird people that breastfeed until their kid is 2 or 3. Not quite, but almost. I have to have Desi weaned by the end of April  and I have mixed feelings about it. I think he will do okay, I decided a couple of days ago to start the process so I was giving him sippy cups of milk whenever I could and did he pretty good as long as it was chocolate milk or strawberry milk. I decided he did pretty well, but I'm not quite ready yet, so I will keep breastfeeding for now as long as he wants and am not going to push the sippy cup. But we have to him weaned by the end of April, so regardless it will happen by then, just not yet. It's so Steve and I can go on a trip we have been wanting to go on since before we were married, and were supposed to go on a couple of weeks after we married. We have now been married for 6 years, so this has been a long time coming. And there is no way I am going to pump during it. We are going to be gone for 17 days and I can't pump enough before we go to feed Desi for that long, and I also don't want to pump while we are on vacation snorkeling in the Mediterranean, going to the Italian Opera, seeing the oldest freestanding ruins on earth, staying in little bed and breakfasts in the countryside, and going to lots of cool churches. Just not my idea of a fun vacation listening to the sound of the pump and saying sorry honey, can't go yet, gotta pump. Oh and we are just going to have one backpack each, where would that thing fit!?
I am so excited to go Malta, not as excited about weaning, and not as excited about periods again, but kind of am, because I am ovulating again and can get pregnant again, and I am just about ready for another baby!

Simonisms

So a few of my friends have posted blogs lately about funny things that their kids say. I decided before I saw the latest one that I need to update this blog and decided that I want to put up some of the funny things Simon says. (I wrote this post a long time ago and neve published. It's been quite a while so these are not recent ones, but still worth remembering) There are tons. It seems like at least 10 times a day I am looking at Steve and asking where Simon gets these things from. He is crazy.

"Now where'd that go?" (He typically squints his eyes and looks around when he says this one)

"Now leave! me! alone!" (Each word with a pause between it)

Anytime he wants something he demands it, and we've been working really hard on asking nicely (which he used to be really good at). So he'll say something like "Get me more milk," and I will tell him that isn't asking nicely and you need to ask momma nicely if you want something, and he will shout at me as loud as he can and move his face forward using his whole body to get the word out and say "PLEASE!!" I don't think that is nice either so I take the cup from him and hold it and after a few minutes he will come back to me and calmly say, "Momma can I have more milk please?" and then I will get it for him.

Or with the pleases, he will say something like "I want Dora." And I will say how do you ask nicely, and he will say "please" and I will say, "please what?" and he says "Please to you!"

Simon watches a lot of Dora and Diego, they are his favorite shows and he is always running around pretending from the show, "Look a volcano!" "Stop the Bobos, freeze Bobo's." Really anything that comes from those shows. He likes to pretend he is Boots, I am Dora, Steve is Diego, and whenever anyone else is around like Renee, she is normally a tree. Lol, plenty of other characters in the show, but he makes her a tree.

Things I wish someone had told me about having a second baby

If I could give warning to someone who is having a second baby it would be this: it is so much harder than having your first baby.
I had a very hard time adjusting to having Desmond, like took me 6 months to finally get the hang of things and get into a good groove.
Physically, it was so easy. I had  a VBAC with Desi and I can not even tell you how much easier the recovery is from a vaginal delivery, it's seriously not even fair! I went for a couple mile hike less than a week after I had Desmond. With Simon- my first and a c-section- I couldn't even stand up straight to walk for several weeks! What was hard was all the demands on me. Trying to take care of all of my baby's needs while still taking care of my 3 year-olds emotional needs. I had no clue having another baby would be tough. I thought to myself that it would be easy, I had done it before, I knew what breastfeeding was like, I knew what changing diapers was like, I thought since I had done it before I could do it again no problem. Boy was I wrong. I honestly feel like it took me a good 6 months to get the hang of things and finally get myself (and my two kiddos) into a good routine. Before I list my tips, let me say this. This is what works for us and for our family (or what I wish I had done instead), I made lots of "mistakes" and paid for them. We have a very different schedule than most people because of my husbands work schedule, my older child sleeps in and so do I. I am not trying to tell anyone that my way is better than their way and they should do what I said just because it worked for me. This is what works for us, what other people told me and I wish I had listened, or what I wish I had done instead, and might be things for others to try out or to ignore and say, "Whatev' girl, you are crazy!"
1. Listen to your mom (and everyone else) when they tell you not to hold your baby all the time. I was lucky and had my parents and husband around for the first week or two after I had my second baby, which meant my older child was being occupied by everyone else and I got lots of cuddling time with the baby, but when they left and hubby went back to work, I realized that holding my baby nonstop was a luxury I couldn't afford if I wanted my Simon-son to feel special and important too. (Please note that I didn't listen to my mom. I continued to hold Desi even though situations didn't allow it. We often ate dinner an hour or two later than we should have, ate tv dinners which can be easily prepared while holding a baby, Simon watched lots more tv than I would have liked, and Desi currently takes naps in my arms, which he is doing as I type. This is a case where you should learn from my example by not doing the same thing I did.) With your first, holding them non-stop is great, and I love the cuddles, but when you have an older child to take care of too, it just isn't possible to hold the baby constantly. When baby falls asleep put him in the bassinet, and let him get used to it, it's okay, he will still be loved and know that you love him even if you don't hold him 24/7. If you feel bad/guilty/just don't want to put your baby down, invest in a nice baby carrier whether you prefer a front carrier, wrap, sling, whatever, you will need your hands. Imagine that you are sitting on the sofa all cozy with your sleeping baby cuddling, then your 3 year old needs to go to the bathroom, and I mean NOW! That baby is gonna need to be content laying on the ground or in a bassinet or safely tucked into a carrier. I can tell you from experience it is not fun squatting in front of your toddler with a nursing baby balanced on your knees while you try help the toddler on and off the toilet and wipe his butt. Not only is it difficult to do, I imagine it isn't too sanitary.
2. I just said this but... Get a nice baby carrier if that is your thing. It's my kind of thing, but I always forget how great it is to use around the house. Use it around the house! Also, it's great for running into the grocery store especially if you have two kids. Desi is a heavy boy, and carrying him around in his baby carrier carseat is not doable, that thing is so freaking heavy! Pop him in the carrier and he's not screaming the whole time you are in the store, you can use both of your hands instead of trying to hold baby in one hand, while trying to steer the shopping cart with the other hand, and don't forget about your other kid, how are you gonna help him out when he gets hurt while in the store or throws a tantrum because he can't get whatever random thing he wants. Even if you are going in to grab one thing use the carrier. Desi out-grew his front carrier and it is a pain to wear him in, so I finally ordered a new carrier that can go on front or back, I ordered a Boba 3G, I will review it after I use it some. I am finally (after 8 months) to the point where I am so sick of holding him all the time! He is heavy! (20lbs) and it is nice outside, and I want to play outside with Simon without holding Desi, and we don't have a yard, we have concrete, so I can't just let Desi play outside with us. He gets put inside with the baby gate in the front door so I can see him and then he cries because I am outside, not holding him, and he is stuck in baby prison. Did I mention Desi has to be held ALL THE TIME! Baby carrier for this kind of baby=lifesaver!
3. Get out of the house. When Simon was a baby I worked full-time, so I got out of the house a lot. When Desi was born I was lucky enough to be a mostly stay-at-home mom. I was working two days a week and I could bring Desi with me if needed. When you are a SAHM (at least for me) it is so important to get out of the house. You will probably psych yourself out like I did and say it is too hard to go out with two kids, it's such a pain to get both of them in and out of the car and car seats, and packing bags, insert complaint of your choice... Yes it is a pain, but it is worth it. I had some little bouts of depression because I wasn't getting out of the house enough, plus it was wintertime, and I didn't like taking my babe out in the cold cold winter weather. But I can also say when I take the effort to get out of the house I feel so much better. I have more energy because I am getting up and moving around, I have to shower at a reasonable time during the day, I actually get dressed, all things that make me feel better.
4. If people offer to help, take them up on it. If they ask what they can do, put them to work! Have them babysit so you can go out on a date, have them sit at the house and hold the baby so you can take a shower, let them vacuum the floor for you or watch kids so you can do it, or take your older kid out so he can feel special. If people ask if they can bring you meals, say yes! And then don't have them brought consecutive days, if you can space them out every other day (a lot of times they bring enough to eat for two or three days). If your spouse is off work for a week have the meals start up after he goes back to work or maybe just one or two while he was around so he doesn't feel like your slave. :) If you have the freezer space, get together with a friend before you have the baby and make freezer meals and fill up your freezer. Also if you have the space, and people want to do a shower of sorts for you, have everyone bring meals for you as shower gifts, or ask them to bring them after you have the baby. Make your crockpot your best friend. Prepare ingredients when you have a few spare minutes during the day, toss them in, and put on Hi or Low depending on how long it was before you were able to start it up. Also some of those freezer meals can be ready to dump into the freezer. Pinterest has been a great resource for me on finding good recipes. (link above is to SixSistersStuff click on recipe index and scroll down to the section of freezer recipes then look at their entire website, it's awesome)
5. Take it easy on yourself. You might have been Superwoman before, but you just had a baby, and completely changed the dynamics of your family, it's gonna take some getting used to, and you are all going to have to change a little bit to adjust.
6. Exercise
7. Take time for yourself- even if it is just showering and exercising everyday.
8. Don't forget about your spouse. With the demands of baby and older kid you I often don't leave time for me and especially not always for him. He is important, and if he feels important and is happy, and not stressed, and his needs are being met, he is going to be more able to help you out. Tell him he is amazing, tell him thank you.
9. Don't forget about your older child. One thing I have been trying that I think maybe my mom or sister suggested is whenever I am sitting on the sofa feeding Desi or holding him while he sleeps I let Simon know beforehand that I am about to be unavailable. I ask him if he needs anything before I start feeding the baby, make sure his needs are being met, and then while I am feeding Desi offer to Simon to read him books. As long as he keeps bringing me books I keep reading to him. Also, another sad confession, in my tiredness I have napped on the sofa while nursing Desi, and just keep pushing play on the Netflix for Simon. Remember, I said don't be too hard on yourself. Yeah lots of tv isn't ideal, but is a nice life-saver when you need it. Your child won't be developmentally destroyed and you will probably be a lot happier and patient if you get a nap.
10. This one is going to be a contradiction, so just have a sleep situation that works for your family. I love co-sleeping. I also wish Desi was in his own bed. Do what's best for your family. Co-sleeping works for us because my husband doesn't sleep at the same time as me,  I have a king-size bed to share with my baby, and I enjoy it. We also live in a tiny little two-bedroom apartment. Ideally, I would have Desi sleeping or napping in his own bedroom in his own bed. However, he shares a bed with me, and my husband sleeps in that bed during the day. We have a crib, in our room, the room my husband sleeps in during the day. So what we do isn't exactly what I wish I was doing, but it would make things a lot easier if Desi was napping in his own bed and naptime could be spent keeping up with housework and playing with Simon. I have my ideal, just our current location sandwiched in an apartment between two neighbors doesn't really leave me feeling comfortable working on sleep training and letting Desi cry, I worry about my neighbors will think of me when they hear Desi crying, silly? yes, but true.
11. Stay up an extra 15 minutes and clean up before you go to bed. I recently started doing this and those few minutes at night makes a huge difference. When I come down in the morning and everything downstairs is clean it is so nice. It makes the day start a little better and I don't feel as overwhelmed as I did when I would wake up in the morning to a messy house. It is worth the 15 minutes of Desi crying while I quickly clean up the house.
I am sure there are more things I wish I had known or done when I had my second baby, but this is good for now. What are some things you wish you had known or done differently, or things you did that you feel you wouldn't have survived without?

Patience... or lack of.

While I was wasting time on Pinterest, I mean looking for inspiration and recipes and ideas for things I will never do, earlier today I happened upon this article from parents.com. It was really what I needed to read and hear. It's called 10 Ways to Stop Yelling. I have really been losing my cool with Simon very easily lately and I don't really know why. I can't figure out what my deal is and why I am getting so impatient with him, and is very upsetting for me because myself and how I am acting and it is not good, I feel like I have been losing control and don't know why or how to get back to being my normal self instead of this "grouchy mom" I have become. I suspect it might be a tiny bit depression, part cabin fever/SAD/not-going-outside-enough-and-getting sunlight, part exhausted from a retarded sleep schedule (why have I been staying up past two every night!), part tired from having a baby who demands being held and nursing tons this week (see post below). I think mostly just tired, you can blame it on whatever you want.

I think another part of my deal is that I have unrealistic expectations of my three year-old's behavior. And on top of everything else about a week and a half ago he regressed with the potty training and I have been handling it very poorly. Today was a good day, but man, I lose my cool so quickly when he has an accident, but everything I read says it is perfectly normal, and the more upset I get about it when he has an accident the worse it will be.

Right now I am really trying to get a handle on things and be better. I am always trying to be a better parent and wife, but right now it has become more important for me to be better. I know there is something wrong, and I'm trying desperately to fix it, I am just kinda having a hard time right now, and I don't get to see Steve a whole ton, which is hard too. This week my main focus has been on getting Simon to bed at a reasonable time and watching less tv. I introduced Simon to Lego video games, and boy was that a mistake. We only have demos for a few different games, but that boy is an addict! So this week I combined the potty training regression with the too much tv. If he has an accident, he doesn't get to watch anymore tv until he can show me that he can go pee on the potty. And then it's just one or two episodes. We watch way too much tv in this house. Way too much. It's hard though because I spend so much time sitting on the couch feeding Desi it is just easier to turn on the tv so Simon can sit by me and watch tv together, but earlier in the week I decided to sit on the floor and feed Desi and play toys with Simon, or at least just keep him company and it has been working. Tv watching has definitely decreased this week and decent bed times have also been happening! Correlation or causation? Tv: brain over-stimulation: staying up late? Perhaps... Tonight Simon crashed on the couch and was was out before 8:30. My goal has been to have him in bed with lights out by 9:30, and we have done it on average this week. We have had some nights earlier and some later, but it has averaged out to that and it is so exciting for me! (And I know what you are thinking, you have been telling me for 3 years that Simon shouldn't stay up so late) Simon has been staying up way way too lately because by the end of day I am exhausted and getting Simon in to bed always seems to clash with Desi needing to be fed and I postpone it, let him watch "one more 'movie'" and before we know it is late late late! But it has been working out this week, and I am going to stick to it, I need to stick to it, and then I get a few hours of quiet every night to myself which is very nice, very nice indeed.

Anyways, I am just going on and on and I should probably stop. There is tons more I have to say on this subject, but if you are still reading by this point you are probably about bored to death. Although I'm pretty sure no one reads this blog anyways, it is nice for me to be able to word-spew about how I am feeling lately, because I have been a little down and hard on myself, and unsatisfied with my performance as a mom. Here's to doing better, being better, not being so harsh on myself, and focusing on the brighter parts of my performance.

Teething

Desi-boo is teething. I am so not ready for this yet. He is only 4 1/2 months old! And it may take a while before they pop out, but who knows. Simon didn't get his first tooth until he was over a year-old, which I really enjoyed since I breastfed him til he was over a year old and I didn't have to deal with the whole nursing and teeth thing. One of the joys of Desi teething is that he has been nursing almost non-stop around the clock for the past couple of days. That is great if I have nothing to do, but not-so-great if I want to go run errands, or go on a date alone with my husband, or go to work. Yep, none of those things are happening this week. Instead, I am sitting on the couch nursing this baby constantly and showering very late in the day while baby screams in the bouncy seat just so I can be clean. Oh, what, I forgot to mention didn't I... That's right, if he isn't nursing he wants to be held. And not just anyone will do. Only mom will do. Hooray! (Note the many layers of sarcasm in this post.)
Last night Steve was holding Desmond while I was stuffing diaper inserts into diapers so Steve wouldn't have to deal with it while I was at work- the diapers would be all ready for him. The whole time Steve was holding Desi, he was rocking, bouncing, shhhing, swaying, patting, etc., and Desi just sat there screaming and staring at me, he would track me around the room, staring into my soul and crying. It was a very painful three minutes, and heartbreaking.
Don't get me wrong, I love holding my baby, and cuddling him, and nursing him, but I also love getting other things done too, especially when I am actually in the mood for doing other things like picking up the living room and cooking meals for my family for Valentine's Day. Meals like our breakfast (and by breakfast I mean lunch, it was at 1 that we ate our bacon, little Kari's little-a eggs, pigs in a blanket, and fruit) this morning with it's little heart-shaped pieces of fruit, and the dinner I want to make tonight for my husband with little heart-shaped roasted potatoes. It's gonna be soo cute, if it actually happens. Which at this rate, is probably not going to happen.
But anyways, teething- yikes. When he isn't nursing he is chomping on whatever he can get his hands onto and get into his mouth. And it doesn't feel like front teeth are coming in, its all jaggedy further back, like canines and molars are starting to come in. Ouch, poor little baby.

Cloth Diapering

Since before Desi was born I thought that I really wanted to do cloth diapering with him, but the main thing stopping me (and that I was using as an excuse not to) was that to do laundry we have to go outside our back door, down cement steps, unlock a door, go down the hall and unlock another door. Three sets of doors to open, and if we are coming from up stairs in our place where the bedrooms are, then two sets of stairs also. Ugh. And then doubling or even tripling that for each load of laundry. Yes, I am a lazy bum. I would tell myself that if we ended up buying a house, that is when I would start. And then something wonderful happened. I had some cloth diapers on my amazon list, and my sister Heather bought them for us as part of our Christmas present this year. Then another thing happened, it was a Saturday evening and we were almost out of diapers, not quite enough to make it to Monday morning, and I didn't want to go to the store, especially with both boys (I think Steve was working or about to leave for work). So I opened up the diapers, washed them, and started using them. And I didn't look back.
So far I love it! It has only been about a month. The ones my sister got for us are BumGenius 4.0 with snaps. They are amazing. Then I bought an Econobum cover that came with a prefold, and a Flip diaper which came with an insert both with snaps. I hate the Econobum, and especially it's prefold that is just awkward when placed inside the cover. I like the flip diaper, you just switch the insert with every change unless you get poo on the cover which was happening almost every time, but I still liked the concept and that each cover will last a little longer. The BumGenius call themselves an All-in-one, meaning it's most like the disposables most people use, but it really isn't, it is a pocket diaper, which just means you have to stuff an insert into a cover. After that I bought two Thirsties Duo-Wrap covers, and started a sewing project sewing my own inserts to use inside of it. I had some prefolds that I can just fold and place inside them, but I hate prefolds. Some of you may remember after Simon was born we had diaper service for a week, and I wanted to like it, but I just couldn't- I just hate prefolds, they are not for me, but they are A LOT cheaper to use. Well the day after my two new covers came and I started my sewing-inserts-out-of-scrap-fabric project I went to help my friend Jenn who cloth diapered her two boys, and she lent me her BumGenius hook and loop diapers! 21 wonderful BumGenius diapers. So no need for my covers right now because I currently have a stash to get me through with a few extras between wash cycles. But I am sure as Desi gets bigger I will love those covers and will probably use them more, especially since he is a big boy I hear he will outgrow the BumGenius and end up needing something else towards the end before potty training.
Needless to say, I am pretty excited and am loving cloth diapering. Desi hasn't had diaper rash like he was getting before, and I am not throwing hundreds of diapers into landfills. A lot of people don't like cloth diapering because they say it isn't cheaper because of the cost of buying the diapers and washing and drying your diapers, but I don't care as much about it being cheaper, I care more about the environmental impact of throwing out diapers that don't decompose. So maybe a silly update especially since I haven't posted in over four months, and surely there must be other mom things going on in my life since I have had a baby since my last post, but this is what I am most excited about. Love my cloth diapers, and the extra bulk in the diaper bag doesn't bother me too much. Oh and P.S.- I may be washing diapers every two days, but Desi hasn't had a single blow out since I started using the cloth diapers and he would have 1-3 a day in his disposables, so I might be using energy to clean my diapers, but he is also not going through as many outfits each day, so it's more diapers to wash, but less clothes!
Oh and I am also going to be switching from disposable wipes to cloth wipes, but haven't done it yet. I need to sew all my wipes. I have a couple of old flannel receving blankets I cut up and I just need to hem the edges of them and then make a wipe solution to put them in and figure out if I want to do a spray bottle or wipe warmer filled with solution- I will probably just do the solution in a spray bottle because it is cheaper and I don't have to worry about keeping something plugged in by where I change diapers because there really aren't any unused plugs nearby. Happy Diapering, and wish me luck!

Spoiler Alert: This blog contains info that may be disturbing to some readers- things about girl parts and labor and stuff

I can't figure out if pregnancy posts belong on my mom blog or our family blog, so this one is going on the mom blog because its contents could be disturbing to some people.

I hate my cervix. I had a doctors appointment earlier this week. My dr was going to do a cervical check and strip my membranes to get things moving with the whole labor process. She went in to check my cervix, and it is so tightly closed she couldn't even strip my membranes. Stupid cervix, closed up tight, and not even angled properly for birth giving. It is still pointing back instead of forward where it needs to be for the baby to come out. Did you even know they point backwards and then change angles at the end, I didn't until the night before my dr appointment when I read it in my book. My family all talks to my belly and tells the baby to come out. My sis-in-law Krit was doing it on Wednesday and I told her don't talk to the baby, talk to my cervix, she pretended to move my legs, it was pretty funny.

This appointment was on Tuesday, I have to go every week and the next opening my dr had was for the Thursday of the following week, the 22. My due date is the 24th, and the c-section is scheduled for the 26th, "just in case." I am really starting to lose hope that I am going to be able to do a VBAC. I want to so bad, and it's so important to me. I never thought I would care so much if I had to have a repeat c-section, but I don't want one. So badly I don't want one. I want to be able to have this baby naturally, I want to experience all the stages of labor. I want to know what it feels like to push a baby out of your body. I don't want to be high and drugged up and numb when my baby is sliced out of me. I want to be able to see the baby as it comes out of me. I even want to see the placenta after it is delivered. Is that weird? I have a child, and I've never seen a placenta, and I am really curious to know what it looks like. I don't want to be laying on a table shaking when my baby is cut out of me. I don't want to be laying in a recovery room for an hour or more before I can hold my baby. I don't want to be stuck with a catheter in and not be able to move from my bed (although when I had Simon it was nice not having to get out of bed to go pee, but that's because my abdomen had been sliced open and walking was nearly impossible). I don't want to have to yell at my husband and wake him up to shut the door every hour after the stupid nurse left it open after she checked my blood pressure. I would like to be able to get up myself and shut the door. I want to be able to laugh without it being extremely painful. I would like to be able to walk upright immediately, especially since I have stairs in my house. I can't remember how long it was after I had Simon before I felt like I could walk standing up straight, or even stand up straight.

I want and don't want a lot of things. But most of all I want a natural delivery and at the very least a vaginal delivery. I don't want to have another c-section. I want to prove to myself that I can do this, that my body can do this, and that I can have this baby in a normal way. I am just really losing hope. Every day that goes by without a single contraction is a day closer to that deadline I am trying to beat. That day the dr set that the baby needs to come out by.

I think if the baby hasn't come by my appointment next Thursday I will have Steve help me fight her again about the scheduled c-section date. I know that the due date of the 24th is wrong anyways and it's so frustrating. If you do the reverse from the due date to estimate the conception date it's December 25th through January 1st. Funny, my last period started on the 25th, so I know for a fact I was not having sex, and abstinence is 100% effective for birth control. It is impossible for us to have gotten pregnant then while I was on my freaking period and we were not having sex! But if you go with a due date of October 1st, well then it is possible and makes plenty of sense that we got pregnant then. Hooray for vacation baby made in Belize! So it just really sucks knowing we are getting shorted a week on the due date, and that this baby really has to come early, like almost a week early to make it out before the c-section. Which is possible, babies are born early all the time, but they are also born late all the time too. Simon came 5 days early, but that doesn't mean this one will. And even if he does come 5 days early, early based on when his due date SHOULD have been means a day after the scheduled c-section date. Sigh...

This was a good little vent for me. I have been majorly stressing about all this and it's nice to be able to type it all up and get it out. Steve hears it from me all the time, feels the same as I do, and is also giving up hope like I am, which makes it hard. How do you keep hoping for something that you want to badly, but your dr is basically setting you up to fail at?


On a side note, all day yesterday and this morning Steve and I both noticed the baby was moving considerably less than normally and we were kind of worried about it, so we called the dr office and talked to the nurse about it. She was rude and condescending but we went in to the office anyways and got hooked up to some monitors to listen to the baby's heartbeat and check for contractions. Heartbeat was fantastic, absolutely no contractions, the nurse was super rude to us and made us feel stupid for coming in, but the dr at the practice was really nice and told us it's better to come in when we are worried than be like a person who hadn't felt their baby for a week and didn't come in! The nurse even said to us, "You know the baby does need to sleep sometimes, it's not awake all the time and isn't going to be moving constantly." Uh yeah, we know it sleeps, but we also know how much he normally moves and that he was barely moving yesterday even after I ate tons of sugar and stuff, he would move a teeny bit if we were poking at him, but it just wasn't his normal movements and it freaked us out a little. And when we left the dr office the nurse totally said, "Bye Kari," in a very biotchy tone of voice and just seemed so annoyed with us the entire time we were there. She was the first person on that staff to ever be rude to us, except our very first appointment when the receptionist treated us like trash and told us we should go to the Pregnancy Center (a clinic for non-insured people and Medicaid) because I wasn't showing up on Steve's insurance yet even though I should have been. We just paid cash for the appointment and ignored her because we knew we had good insurance. So good in fact that it covers 100% of maternity- ha take that Stacy! Sorry for this last little rant, guess I am just a little annoyed and needing to express it, thanks for hanging in there with me for that!

Anyways, if you could please keep us in your prayers and if you want to suggest ways to ripen the cervix and get labor started go for it, though our dr says the only thing that works for ripening the cervix is sex. And I am doing evening primrose oil too and eating pineapple even though the dr says there is no point. And I'm not gonna try castor oil, sorry, but I don't think that I am going to be desperate enough to do that to myself.