Thursday, February 16, 2012

Patience... or lack of.

While I was wasting time on Pinterest, I mean looking for inspiration and recipes and ideas for things I will never do, earlier today I happened upon this article from It was really what I needed to read and hear. It's called 10 Ways to Stop Yelling. I have really been losing my cool with Simon very easily lately and I don't really know why. I can't figure out what my deal is and why I am getting so impatient with him, and is very upsetting for me because myself and how I am acting and it is not good, I feel like I have been losing control and don't know why or how to get back to being my normal self instead of this "grouchy mom" I have become. I suspect it might be a tiny bit depression, part cabin fever/SAD/not-going-outside-enough-and-getting sunlight, part exhausted from a retarded sleep schedule (why have I been staying up past two every night!), part tired from having a baby who demands being held and nursing tons this week (see post below). I think mostly just tired, you can blame it on whatever you want.

I think another part of my deal is that I have unrealistic expectations of my three year-old's behavior. And on top of everything else about a week and a half ago he regressed with the potty training and I have been handling it very poorly. Today was a good day, but man, I lose my cool so quickly when he has an accident, but everything I read says it is perfectly normal, and the more upset I get about it when he has an accident the worse it will be.

Right now I am really trying to get a handle on things and be better. I am always trying to be a better parent and wife, but right now it has become more important for me to be better. I know there is something wrong, and I'm trying desperately to fix it, I am just kinda having a hard time right now, and I don't get to see Steve a whole ton, which is hard too. This week my main focus has been on getting Simon to bed at a reasonable time and watching less tv. I introduced Simon to Lego video games, and boy was that a mistake. We only have demos for a few different games, but that boy is an addict! So this week I combined the potty training regression with the too much tv. If he has an accident, he doesn't get to watch anymore tv until he can show me that he can go pee on the potty. And then it's just one or two episodes. We watch way too much tv in this house. Way too much. It's hard though because I spend so much time sitting on the couch feeding Desi it is just easier to turn on the tv so Simon can sit by me and watch tv together, but earlier in the week I decided to sit on the floor and feed Desi and play toys with Simon, or at least just keep him company and it has been working. Tv watching has definitely decreased this week and decent bed times have also been happening! Correlation or causation? Tv: brain over-stimulation: staying up late? Perhaps... Tonight Simon crashed on the couch and was was out before 8:30. My goal has been to have him in bed with lights out by 9:30, and we have done it on average this week. We have had some nights earlier and some later, but it has averaged out to that and it is so exciting for me! (And I know what you are thinking, you have been telling me for 3 years that Simon shouldn't stay up so late) Simon has been staying up way way too lately because by the end of day I am exhausted and getting Simon in to bed always seems to clash with Desi needing to be fed and I postpone it, let him watch "one more 'movie'" and before we know it is late late late! But it has been working out this week, and I am going to stick to it, I need to stick to it, and then I get a few hours of quiet every night to myself which is very nice, very nice indeed.

Anyways, I am just going on and on and I should probably stop. There is tons more I have to say on this subject, but if you are still reading by this point you are probably about bored to death. Although I'm pretty sure no one reads this blog anyways, it is nice for me to be able to word-spew about how I am feeling lately, because I have been a little down and hard on myself, and unsatisfied with my performance as a mom. Here's to doing better, being better, not being so harsh on myself, and focusing on the brighter parts of my performance.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012


Desi-boo is teething. I am so not ready for this yet. He is only 4 1/2 months old! And it may take a while before they pop out, but who knows. Simon didn't get his first tooth until he was over a year-old, which I really enjoyed since I breastfed him til he was over a year old and I didn't have to deal with the whole nursing and teeth thing. One of the joys of Desi teething is that he has been nursing almost non-stop around the clock for the past couple of days. That is great if I have nothing to do, but not-so-great if I want to go run errands, or go on a date alone with my husband, or go to work. Yep, none of those things are happening this week. Instead, I am sitting on the couch nursing this baby constantly and showering very late in the day while baby screams in the bouncy seat just so I can be clean. Oh, what, I forgot to mention didn't I... That's right, if he isn't nursing he wants to be held. And not just anyone will do. Only mom will do. Hooray! (Note the many layers of sarcasm in this post.)
Last night Steve was holding Desmond while I was stuffing diaper inserts into diapers so Steve wouldn't have to deal with it while I was at work- the diapers would be all ready for him. The whole time Steve was holding Desi, he was rocking, bouncing, shhhing, swaying, patting, etc., and Desi just sat there screaming and staring at me, he would track me around the room, staring into my soul and crying. It was a very painful three minutes, and heartbreaking.
Don't get me wrong, I love holding my baby, and cuddling him, and nursing him, but I also love getting other things done too, especially when I am actually in the mood for doing other things like picking up the living room and cooking meals for my family for Valentine's Day. Meals like our breakfast (and by breakfast I mean lunch, it was at 1 that we ate our bacon, little Kari's little-a eggs, pigs in a blanket, and fruit) this morning with it's little heart-shaped pieces of fruit, and the dinner I want to make tonight for my husband with little heart-shaped roasted potatoes. It's gonna be soo cute, if it actually happens. Which at this rate, is probably not going to happen.
But anyways, teething- yikes. When he isn't nursing he is chomping on whatever he can get his hands onto and get into his mouth. And it doesn't feel like front teeth are coming in, its all jaggedy further back, like canines and molars are starting to come in. Ouch, poor little baby.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Cloth Diapering

Since before Desi was born I thought that I really wanted to do cloth diapering with him, but the main thing stopping me (and that I was using as an excuse not to) was that to do laundry we have to go outside our back door, down cement steps, unlock a door, go down the hall and unlock another door. Three sets of doors to open, and if we are coming from up stairs in our place where the bedrooms are, then two sets of stairs also. Ugh. And then doubling or even tripling that for each load of laundry. Yes, I am a lazy bum. I would tell myself that if we ended up buying a house, that is when I would start. And then something wonderful happened. I had some cloth diapers on my amazon list, and my sister Heather bought them for us as part of our Christmas present this year. Then another thing happened, it was a Saturday evening and we were almost out of diapers, not quite enough to make it to Monday morning, and I didn't want to go to the store, especially with both boys (I think Steve was working or about to leave for work). So I opened up the diapers, washed them, and started using them. And I didn't look back.
So far I love it! It has only been about a month. The ones my sister got for us are BumGenius 4.0 with snaps. They are amazing. Then I bought an Econobum cover that came with a prefold, and a Flip diaper which came with an insert both with snaps. I hate the Econobum, and especially it's prefold that is just awkward when placed inside the cover. I like the flip diaper, you just switch the insert with every change unless you get poo on the cover which was happening almost every time, but I still liked the concept and that each cover will last a little longer. The BumGenius call themselves an All-in-one, meaning it's most like the disposables most people use, but it really isn't, it is a pocket diaper, which just means you have to stuff an insert into a cover. After that I bought two Thirsties Duo-Wrap covers, and started a sewing project sewing my own inserts to use inside of it. I had some prefolds that I can just fold and place inside them, but I hate prefolds. Some of you may remember after Simon was born we had diaper service for a week, and I wanted to like it, but I just couldn't- I just hate prefolds, they are not for me, but they are A LOT cheaper to use. Well the day after my two new covers came and I started my sewing-inserts-out-of-scrap-fabric project I went to help my friend Jenn who cloth diapered her two boys, and she lent me her BumGenius hook and loop diapers! 21 wonderful BumGenius diapers. So no need for my covers right now because I currently have a stash to get me through with a few extras between wash cycles. But I am sure as Desi gets bigger I will love those covers and will probably use them more, especially since he is a big boy I hear he will outgrow the BumGenius and end up needing something else towards the end before potty training.
Needless to say, I am pretty excited and am loving cloth diapering. Desi hasn't had diaper rash like he was getting before, and I am not throwing hundreds of diapers into landfills. A lot of people don't like cloth diapering because they say it isn't cheaper because of the cost of buying the diapers and washing and drying your diapers, but I don't care as much about it being cheaper, I care more about the environmental impact of throwing out diapers that don't decompose. So maybe a silly update especially since I haven't posted in over four months, and surely there must be other mom things going on in my life since I have had a baby since my last post, but this is what I am most excited about. Love my cloth diapers, and the extra bulk in the diaper bag doesn't bother me too much. Oh and P.S.- I may be washing diapers every two days, but Desi hasn't had a single blow out since I started using the cloth diapers and he would have 1-3 a day in his disposables, so I might be using energy to clean my diapers, but he is also not going through as many outfits each day, so it's more diapers to wash, but less clothes!
Oh and I am also going to be switching from disposable wipes to cloth wipes, but haven't done it yet. I need to sew all my wipes. I have a couple of old flannel receving blankets I cut up and I just need to hem the edges of them and then make a wipe solution to put them in and figure out if I want to do a spray bottle or wipe warmer filled with solution- I will probably just do the solution in a spray bottle because it is cheaper and I don't have to worry about keeping something plugged in by where I change diapers because there really aren't any unused plugs nearby. Happy Diapering, and wish me luck!