Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Worries about having two kids.

I love being a mom. I love my Simon-son. He is amazing, and so sweet and he makes me so grateful that I have such a fun calm, well-mannered little boy. Knock on wood. Let's hope he stays this way. I am grateful that I get to be a mostly stay-at-home mom, and that I could be a full-time one if I wanted, but Simon loves going to his Vovo's house and playing with his cousins and I love my job and my coworkers. I am also grateful that I am not working as much through this pregnancy. I am feeling pretty good nowadays, but am always tired. How did I work full-time through the last one? I actually worked two jobs last time and sometimes went a few weeks without a day off. How did I do that? How do other moms do that? I have no clue, but they are amazing.
Some days I wonder how I am going to handle having two kids. I feel like some days I have absolutely no patience for Simon and I thought I was a pretty patient person. What am I going to do when I have a crying baby and a whining Simon? I have a feeling it will involve watching more tv and movies than we already do. It may involve reading more books. I think it will definitely involve more sitting on the couch, though I already do a good deal of that because I am tired all the time. And hopefully it involves more walks but it will be getting cold out shortly after baby comes so we will have to bundle up! I do plan on getting a Moby Wrap or similar type of wrap to have the baby close and my hands free for Simon, I had a sling with Simon and didn't like it, all the weight on one shoulder was not comfortable.
I worry about Simon alot though. He has become much more of a momma's boy than he was already since I stay at home a lot more now. How is he going to handle having a younger brother? Is he going to get jealous, is he going to love the baby so much? I think he will love the baby, he likes to see my belly to see the baby, and when the baby is moving a lot I will take Simon's hand and put it on my belly so he can feel it. I'm not sure if he feels it or not but he giggles and he likes to kiss my belly. Hopefully he is still as fond of the baby when it is no longer in my uterus.
We went to register at BabiesRUs the other day because if I went and registered I got a free $10 gift card, so I figured why not, and also at the end we get 20% off anything on the registry not purchased, so even if no one else looks at it, we still a discount on the stuff on it like swings, bouncers, bibs, blankets, whatever! But while we were there I realized there is a lot of stuff we never had for Simon and for two reasons. 1. We were in a pretty small 1 bedroom apartment and didn't really have the space for a lot of stuff. 2. He was in daycare 5 days a week, and got to play with lots of cool toys there and when he was home I was mostly playing with him and holding him and didn't have a need for lots of things to amuse him and keep him occupied, because I was that thing. Now that I am a stay-at-home mom, and have another kid that is going to need attention too, I am going to have to buy a lot of that gear I never had before. With Simon we had a bassinet, a swing, a tummy time pad, and his crib. He never had a pack'n'play (which we aren't going to get this time either), he never had a bouncer, or a vibrating seat, or a play exersaucer thing, or a baby monitor (his crib was in the living room, his bassinet was in our room, and we co-slept), or a boppy (i just used a small pillow). We never had to buy an infant carrier (carseat) because we were given a used one by a trusted friend, but now the handle is broken and doesn't lock in place so we need a new one. I am realizing now that these things add up, there is tons of gear we have to buy and it's a little scary- so much money! We have a swing already, but I am thinking of getting one that is a swing, bouncer combo, and you can take the bouncer seat off, but maybe it's smarter to keep the swing we have and just buy a bouncer seat, but having the two in one saves a lot of space in our small place. We are thinking about moving, but want to stay here because it is so cheap, we would rather keep the extra $350 a month we would have to pay to live in a larger place. Oh goodness having another kid is a little scary. So much to think about and buy to get ready for the new one, perhaps a trip to Once Upon a Child is in store instead of stressing about the cost of all the new stuff. Thank goodness we are having another boy so we don't have to buy an entirely new wardrobe too, and thank goodness Steve has a real job now, so money isn't quite as tight as it used to be, though it's still a little tight since we have to pay off his school now.
So, sorry about the complaining about all the gear we have to get, really if we just worry about the basics, we'll get a carseat, a double stroller (buying from my sis), and a moby wrap, and we should survive. And as far as Simon I plan on giving him his own special time at night like we do now, where I will rock him and read books and sing to him before I put him to bed, I am hoping that his special time at night will help a lot and I will try to give him special Simon time whenever the baby is sleeping. Any suggestions on how you prepared your first kid for the arrival of a second one and still made time for the first one so s/he didn't feel left out would be appreciated. When we get close to delivery time I will ask for suggestions on the hospital/delivery part and what you did with the older kid during that time- but we will worry about that part in a couple of months. Simon wants attention now, I have been typing too long and he is hungry and needs Dora!


Leslie@leserleeslovesandhobbies said...

Gear: If you were able to get along without a boppy the first time, you will probably be fine the second time. Yes, get a different baby carrier, whether it's a wrap or a Bjorn or something. So handy. Bouncy seats and vibrators (most are a combo these days) are great, but only if your kid likes them. I liked our saucer, but most of the time I didn't use it, especially with Bryant because I was so adamant about tummy time. I could probably also bring you our rocking chair/vibrator/play toy if you want that too. We don't use it much, and it has a bar thing with toys that hang down. If you want it.

As for time: Whoever has the most immediate needs gets the attention first. Simon is a smart boy, and he is getting old enough that he needs to start learning about delayed gratification and waiting. I hear the second baby is the hardest because there is nobody to entertain the older child, whereas with third, fourth, etc., there is always at least one other child to entertain the other one while you take care of baby.

Tired. Yes, you will be tired. You won't be able to nap when baby is napping, but you will adjust and eventually, maybe, just maybe that baby will start sleeping through the night.

Simon and the baby: Just talk to him a lot about the baby and what things are going to be like after the baby comes. Try not to pick him up and hold him so much. Blame it on your big, fat belly. Have him get into his car seat by himself. And climb out of the car by himself. Help him to become more independent now. That really helped with Abigail. Start transitioning him now. Out of his crib, and anything else that is going to become the baby's when he comes.

As for moving...more space would be nice. I'm not going to lie. But if you plan on keeping the baby in your room with you for awhile, then wait for more space. After all, my kids have been sharing a room for almost a year (I think), and it's been fine. But I had to wait until Bryant was sleeping through the night (well, mostly sleeping through the night) before I could do that. Just start doing all you can to prepare for the baby now.

I would highly recommend Once Upon a Child. They've been a budget saver here!

As for hospital/delivery. It was easy for us because I had a scheduled c-section, so Mom and Papa were here, and we told Abigail what was going on, so she wouldn't be too freaked out without Mom and Dad there in the morning. But she's a pretty well-adjusted, tolerant kid. And she came to visit us once or twice a day in the hospital. But with you doing a VBAC, that could be a little different. I guess once you know you are getting close, you'll just have to start prepping Simon each night that you might not be there in the morning. You might be at the hospital having a baby, but he'll be able to come and see you and Steve and his little brother when you aren't sleeping.

Okay, long comment for a long post, I guess. Love you!

dacjohns said...

Simon needs me and not Dora. :)

I would not stress on what to do. Once the time comes, you will figure it out. You are doing a great job with Simon. I am so proud of you. He will be a great little helper and I am sure he will love his brother totally. You are preparing him so well for the big event.

Remember, more is not always good. The clutter in your house will cause stress. You won't be able to keep the place clean with more "junk" and that will cause stress for you and Steve. Think things through before you buy something. Is it really going to be that helpful? And how long will the item be helpful. A month or two is not worth the money or space.

I love you. <3